January 29, 2010
A big title for such a little post.
I came across an email I wrote to Whit in 2007, right after Resolved and right before I became a member at LBC. 
I remember feeling so many things clicking and becoming clear about the Christian life. In step with Christ reminding me of importance and simplicity in worshipping him above all things and along with that going back to basics in my heart, I wanted to share/remember some truths and lessons from that season in life. Its funny…nearly 3 years later, I’m still learning the same things.
I went to Resolved Conference this past weekend and I feel like my heart has been fully opened to the joy of the gospel and realizing what a precious, precious gift salvation from sins is. God placed a desire for something bigger than my little world… but ultimately was a small seed in my heart that CHRIST IS BETTER. And eternal life is our gift, but on HIS terms. He paid the price, He offers the gift – His right to set the conditions on which we receive it. This weekend, one new realization I had was that there really are only two choices regarding our souls:
1) To count our power and abilities and compare it to God – and thus in seeking how lacking we are, accept His peace offering, which requires us to the cost of discipleship (again His terms.) (Luke 14:31)
2)To be defeated in battle, because Christ WILL be victorious.
I don’t know the fullness of God, or even enough of who He is and what He has done, to understand the debt that I owe to Christ. Steve Lawson said “If He is not Lord of all, He is not Lord at all!” and that really describes how I have struggled with God in my life. We are such small, small beings compared to how great and mighty our creator is; i’ve just started to see myself in that way. Yet for alll my fighting, I realize that there is no life as sweet as the one surrendered to Christ. With diligence and discipline in waiting for Him and learning from Him, we can be taught how to live. Taught to bow in reverence at His throne and to desire God to be glorified in everything. I’m so grateful to the Lord for being patient with me, and for really opening my heart to understanding, but like the apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. (Sister), I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I’ll be becoming a member at Lighthouse on Sunday. This process has been an amazing testament to me of how God is so faithful to us inspite of our own sinfulness and stubborness. So becoming a member at Lighthouse is an act of obedience, especially for someone like me who highly values her freedom. It means that I will now be held accountable by the church family, it means I will be be accountable to the church, it means to rejoice for members of the church inspite of any jealousy, and sadness (eph 4:3)… it means to serve the body sacrificially. It means that I am called to speak the truth… in love. I’m not saying that I wasn’t supposed to do these things before – I definitely was! But instead of denying it, I’m going to be making a commitment to these things. It’ll be hard and I’m going to fail miserably at times, but glory be to God that He is our stronghold!
January 26, 2010
Originally uploaded by nikaa
i am totally in love with this photo.
January 25, 2010
Thanks Josh Harris:
Acts 20:28 tells us that Jesus obtained the church with his own blood. Is this what your love for the church is based on? If it’s anything less than it won’t last.
- Don’t love the church because of what it does for you. Because sooner or later it won’t do enough.
- Don’t love the church because of a leader. Because human leaders are fallible and will let you down.
- Don’t love the church because of a program or a building or activities because all those things get old.
- Don’t love the church because of a certain group of friends because friendships change and people move.
Love the church because of who shed his blood to obtain the church. Love the church because of who the church belongs to. Love the church because of who the church worships. Love the church because you love Jesus Christ and his glory. Love the church because Jesus is worthy and faithful and true. Love the church because Jesus loves the church.
January 20, 2010
Anyone who thinks he deserves to have life unfold as he pleases is bound to be frustrated and discontent much of the time. People who don’t get their own way in life begin to feel resentful and sorry for themselves. Self-pity is a powerful, negative attitude that gives rise to many, many excuses for sin. People fall into Satan’s trap of giving themselves “permission” to sin to compensate for the difficulties and trials they’ve had to bear. Self-pity is a direct rejection of God’s control. It is saying, “I don’t like what you’ve done in my life, and I absolutely will not be content. I can’t change it, so I’ll just be angry and miserable.”
- John Younts.
January 18, 2010
Things i’m loving about today….
Free parking…and getting to walk through the blustery winds. (I had a jacket so i didn’t mind).
Being in Cafe 1134.And listening to the Nutcracker.
Not feeling lame about it because rainy weather outside makes it feel like Winter. So it hasn’t been that long since Christmas.
I got a booth!
My comfy flannel shirt and chucks…and feeling comfortable in my 26 year old skin.
Just driving around Coronado.
The Chai latte is pretty good!
The all important free wifi. and the outlets. I have my custom standards for an afternoon in the cafe. this place definitely meets it.
Uninterrupted time to read, journal, photoedit, bejeweled, blog, googlereader & listen to my music.
January 16, 2010
No period of time is ever useless if it is used for God.
January 7, 2010
How can you really be ready for a new year?
This year i found rituals unappealing and couldn’t muster up the gusto to confront January 1, 2010 much differently then I lived December 31, 2009. Despite the great intention and exercise behind making resolutions for a new year, in my head I was telling myself “there’s no way to hope or know that this year is going to be any better than last year” and in a sense, “i’m gonnnnnnna fail at these goals.” I wasn’t ready and felt that even had I attempted to prepare days before, I just wasn’t going to be ready for all the inevitable uncertainty, challenges and disappointsments to come in the next 365 days.
And that was before the wee morning minutes of 01/01/10 when I was driving back to my house after ringing in the new year at church. Despite being filled with Martinelli cider (still one of my most favorite drinks to this date), there was a dull sadness in my heart. I realized it was regret. I regretted not living for God’s glory in 2009. While it held so many good things and memories dear to me, my mind flashed over all the times i chose to be disobedient to God, when I held to what was most comfortable to me instead of what would represent Christ. I remembered all the times when my heart was filled with doubting God and doubting the promises of his word. I remembered the times when I was selfish and envious of others instead of rejoicing and encouraging them. No wonder I was so apathethic.
But in the passing lights of Camino Cristobal, I was encouraged by a particular verse: Lamentations 3:22-24
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
A few days later I was challenged by the Sovereign Grace album “To Be Like Jesus” and I realized that’s what I needed to set my heart upon. Not so much a resolution for the year…especially because being like Jesus is a lifelong pursuit…but merely focusing my eyes on the cross and bringing my actions into conformity with the character of Christ. A big part of that in which I am particularly bad in putting others first. So at some point i was able to sum up that this year, I want to be more like Jesus and I want to put others before myself. Pretty straight forward.
And 7 days into the year I’ve already had to remind myself several times as well as make several decisions through that lens. To be honest its been painful. And it feels like I just locked myself into a very dreadful year of sacrificing for the sake of others. But this morning I was encouraged by reading that I’m not the only one who feels this way about 2009-10. Apparently Carolyn Mahaney does as well.
I can easily get discouraged when I consider this past year: My recipes remain half-organized on my computer. My reading list is only two-thirds completed. Certain relationships I wanted to invest in remain untended. My unbelief still dogs me.
But I read more books this year than if I’d never resolved to read at all. I’ve taken more initiative with people, even if not as much as I would have liked. And the recipes are half way-organized instead of one big mess! By God’s grace, I think I’ve even grown in faith, however slow my progress.
I may not have completed my to-do list for 2009. But I’ve done more than if I never tried at all.
So, I’m going to try again this year. I’m going to make new resolutions to glorify God. I’m going to seek to make them humbly—recognizing my weakness and inability to complete them all perfectly.
But in the words of Paul: “one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14). I want to press on to be more like Jesus and be with Him more often in 2010.
As we bid goodbye to 2009, I say to you: “Let’s try again this year.”
So I didn’t come ready for 2010. But now, at least i’m ready to try.
January 1, 2010
“In our Christian pilgrimage it is well, for the most part, to be looking forward. Forward lies the crown—and onward is the goal. Whether it is for hope, for joy, for consolation, or for the inspiring of our love—the future must, after all, be the grand object of the eye of faith.
Looking into the future, the Christian sees sin cast out, the body of sin and death destroyed, the soul made perfect, and fit to be a partaker of eternal glory. Looking further yet, the believer’s enlightened eye can see death’s river passed. He sees himself enter within the pearly gates, hailed as more than conqueror, crowned by the hand of Christ, embraced in the arms of Jesus, glorified with Him, and made to sit together with Him on His throne.”
—Charles Spurgeon, “The Grand Object of the Eye of Faith”
