When i’m not doing “well, in a spiritual sense” (and one way I know this is so is by the dread in my heart over answering the question “How are you?”), that may be the time when I need older women looking into my life the most….
My inclination is to cloak or hide all that is not right in my life – to veil my ungodliness. When I know my heart is not “healthy” (for indeed when I am in sin, I feel a bubonic plaque is taking over my heart and soul…its harder and harder to breathe easy), I want to hurry up and discern the root problem so that I can state my case in a nice little box that seems as though the problem is diagnosed. All that is left to do is to take appropriate medication (prayer and bible reading) – no need for more probing questions! The last thing I want is another person poking around my actions, words & emotions to reveal how far that problem reaches and in a sense just how dangerous and hurtful unchecked sin can be. And this reveals my mentality that my sin is bad but not thaaaaaat bad. And again, I see pride. As much as I hate it, I see that I’ve been holding on to it still. ::Sigh::.
“As you see, the problem is not that we need to develop more willpower. The problem is that we need new thoughts, new inclinations, and new desires. We need to seek to replace our sinful passions with holy ones. When God grants these new holy passions to us, we’ll find that our will, which seemed so weak before, will joyfully comply.”
- Elise Fitzpatrick
