Spinning Around

This week and a half have been tough….i’ve been struggling with a lot of things: family, friends, boys and God.

Where do i start? How about with all that God reminded me last nite-he is SOVEREIGN. He truly is – i could go in detail about everything tough in my life but i’d rather tell you how God has shown me his power in touching those very things. I think sometimes i think God sees only what i let him see…and he only knows what i tell him…and he only answers the prayers that he feels like answering. BUT God DOESN’T work like that. He sees everything in my life and he knows my heart better then i do. He knows what i need to hear and will speak thru different people. He knows when i’m insecure about my friendships. He knows when I feel restless and want a specific calling in life. That’s something i’ve really been struggling with recently.

Sometimes i feel like i should be doing SOMETHING for God…serving on a team, in a ministry or something. But last nite @ AACF he used the speaker in such a reassuring way–he reminded me that i don’t need a specific calling to be working for the kingdom of God because we as Christians, have 3 constant callings in life: loving God with all our heart, soul and mind, loving our neighbor and the Great Commission. I know that i’m not so great at any of those and i realized that I need to work on those before i start working on other stuff. I also heard that God will call those with a heart after his own….and i want that. I want a heart that God can match to his own…an undivided heart that so completely seeks to glorify God in everything that i do.

But i am just very grateful right now…for my saving grace, for his neverending love that expresses to me thru both himself and the good people that he has put in my life.
I’m grateful that he knows my heart and answers my prayers-because i’m just seeing his fingerprints all over the place and there is nothing else i can do but praise him.